Crab Say What?

Ok, this is all you, readers. And by readers I mean my sister and my boyfriend if I tell him to. You've gotta help me out here. As you probably know if you're one of the two people previously mentioned, I've been working on a series of animal drawings in which the animal depicted is saying something completely out of context and thus hilarious. The hippo and bear are some examples of what I've done in the past.


So here's the deal. I've got this crab here and he's drawings a blank. Please leave a comment with the funny thing you think the crab should be saying. If I pick you, I'll send you the original drawing with your saying added. I will also be making these into cards and prints so you're saying will be famous! FAMOUS! Here's the crab so get going being hilarious and get back to me soon. I'll give you until Thursday at midnight to submit something. Ok, go!

Felt-Up #1

So I believe I mentioned in a previous blog that I was planning on experimenting with some felting techniques. Well, the results have started filing in and let me tell you, I'm far more capable of making something truly ugly than I ever thought possible.

I mean, let's be truthful, I've made some ugly things in my life. I have some art school horrors hiding out in a box in my closet, hiding from the light of day. However, I'm not sure if I've ever worked so hard to make something that's trying itself so hard to be cute, but falls short so drastically. This is what an awesome felted scarf is supposed to look like . . .

This is what the turd that I came up with looks like, keeping in mind that I tried to photograph it in as pleasing a light as possible . . .

I know what you're thinking. That doesn't look that bad. I might wear that on a day that I'm not going to see anyone I know. Here are some things to note: it's too short. It shrunk much more than I thought it would so it won't even fit around your neck a few times. Also, the little bobbles aren't really evenly placed so there's a sort of pattern but not really. Plus, it's brown, which I usually like, but in this case increases the turd factor by a degree of at least 17.5.

Don't pity me though. This useless swath of thick wool gives me a glimmer of hope for the future. It's strengthened my resolve to move ahead pig-headedly, despite all signs that I will fail miserably and waste lots of yarn.

If you can think of anything I can do with this please comment and let me know. Possibilities have thus far included; lining for cat bed, firewood carrier, abstract wall art, loin cloth, "fashion sling".

Cat:

Um, Yes Please.

So, here's some cute stuff. I decided I was too lazy to be creatively bloggy today so I'm just going to post some things I found on Etsy that are awesome and deserve some notice. This, for example is an adorable bag by Deadworry. I bought a t-shirt of this same design for Tim for Christmas. Who can resist Mr. Fancy Rabbit? Nobody, I say, nobody! Go and buy this, and buy one for me while you're at it.





These adorable illustrations by Matteart remind me of old Disney movies, especially 101 Dalmatians. Don't you want to live in one of these little townhouses? Can't you imagine taking your groceries up in brown bags?




Um, if you consider yourself an adorable person, as I'm sure you are, you're probably going to want to get one of these adorable hair clips and wear it every day. They're from Modernbean and they have a bunch of other cute things as well. Check it out!



Okay, I don't wear belts myself, but my boyfriend does and I'm pretty sure he would love this one. This is from Buncombe Buckles.

Okay, that's all for this edition of things you should buy me. See you next time!

Some Helpful Advice

I noticed these books at work the other day and had to take a peek at them. The language is hilariously uptight, although that's not too surprising for the time period. At one point she refers to sex as "overtures". She must had been a satisfied woman.

Anyway, here are some quotes I thought you might find amusing. These books were written by Blanche Ebbutt in 1913 and while most of her advice is absurdly archaic some of it is rather timeless.

For Wives:

Don't manage your husband too visibly. Of course he may require the most careful management but you don't want your friends to think of him as a hen pecked husband. Above all, never let him think you manage him.

Don't say it's a waste of time to make marmalade at home when you can get it better made from the stores. Your husband and children never like any so well as yours, and it is worth the trouble of making it to see how they enjoy eating it.

Don’t let your husband think it is a matter of indifference to you if he wears his socks wrong side out, or odd boots on his feet. Some men are absent-minded enough even for this; and if they can’t keep a valet, their wives should see that they are dressed properly.

Don't be satisfied to let your husband work overtime to earn money for frocks for you. Manage with fewer frocks.

Don't interpret too literally the 'obey' of the Marriage Service. Your husband has no right to control your individuality.

For Husbands:

Don’t be afraid of lending a hand in the house during a temporary servant difficulty.

Don't be conceited about your good looks. It is more than probable that no one but yourself is aware of them Don't try to be a Sultan. This is the West and you can't shut your wife away from all the other men.

Don't be too exacting about your food. If you can't afford an accomplished cook, don't demand accomplished dishes.

New Year, New Blog, New Unnecessary Pictures of My Cat

Well, what can I say? I've made blogging my New Year's resolution and already it's taken me until almost midnight at the end of the first week of the year to even BEGIN accomplishing my goal of posting regularly. But you know, I feel good. This is gonna happen.

I'm like one of those plucky heroines in movies who leads a listlessly dull life until something sparks her to become ambitious and confident, and then she moves to New York or Paris or something and becomes a top pastry chef or frees someone wrongfully imprisoned or finds the cure for a rare disease. Ok, actually I'm not that person at all. I'm just blogging and crafting over here, there's no reason to get carried away. But, still, I'm confident that I'll cure Lupus by the end of the year.Also, I'm going to create some really awesome felted things. I got this book for free because they were throwing it away at day job (Barnes and Noble) and have now become fascinated with the idea of putting nuts or marbles into wool, rubber-banding them securely and felting the heck out of it. It sounds insane but this book makes it seem like a REALLY good idea. I'm not finished with the scarf I'm going to try it on and I have to be sure it's still long enough to be a scarf after I felt it so I have to make it extra long. If it turns out well I think I'll send it to Detroit where I'm selling some things at City Bird. So, if you live in Detroit you may one day have the opportunity to BUY one of these crazy experiments of mine.

I think I also may try to knit an actual garment, like a little sweater or something. This idea terrifies me. I'm imagining spending hours and days and weeks sweating over this project only to end up with a useless mass of knotted yarn only suitable for a toddler to suck on. But I feel it's a challenge I must take on if I'm to call myself a knitter.

Ok, here's the picture of my cat as promised. I got a light box for Christmas to photograph crafts to put up in the shop. I unfolded the structure and went into the other room to get the camera. I came back to find Rilke(cat) looking at me curiously from inside the tent. She loves things like this. Every time I do laundry she ends up pulling the basket over herself. Anyway, when she would sit still I got some pretty cute shots. Here's one:
Rilke says Happy New Year and demands adoration for her photogenic adorable-ness.